Wednesday 6 November 2013

This Fucking Course I Swear to God

I have no idea who to interview. I can do the voiceovers soon, and I can also do the voiceovers for the radio assignment in one sitting. I have no clue what I’m doing. I’m not even sure about this idea anymore. I only did it because I’m sleep-deprived and it seemed like a good idea. It’s not a good idea; it’s a fucking terrible idea. Why did I think this was a good idea? Yeah, I’ll do a TV interview about TV interviews, oh how witty and original, good job, Sam. Why are these cunts so loud? Whose attention are they trying to get? There are, including myself, four other people in this room, and none of us give a fuck. You don’t need to talk so loudly and incessantly for such a long time, you had break time to do that shit. I can’t work with these loud cunts. I used to be able to work with over 20 loud cunts all being loud, because I could block out their noise, but that was the better part of a decade ago, and I’ve lost that ability. Could you not at least lower your voices, you’re all less than a metre from each other. You all think you’re the shit because you’re at uni; get real, shitlords. Okay one of them started singing then another one accidentally harmonised and all three of them made a loud fucking “woo” noise in surprise. You people are going to cost us all a fucking degree, do you know that you arseholes? Do you even care? I doubt it. You’re only here because you get a student loan and a grant which you’ve no doubt already spent on various pointless things you don’t need and going to Gatecrasher on a fucking Tuesday. I bet you’re all on overdraft. You’re supposed to be spending that shit on shit you actually need, and no, booze is not something you need, and if it is you have a problem and you need help. Oh God, one’s just figured out how gold-diggers work. There are two girls and a guy and the guy keeps making feeble, vaguely creepy attempts at flirting with them. One of the girls just referred to Kanye West as a “black care bear” and they all started laughing really fucking loudly oh god please get dysentery. Earlier, the loudest girl (who happens to be from Manchester so she has an accent as well) said it was an “outrage” that the printer was running out of toner. “What are they spending the money we’re giving them on?” Okay first of all: you’re not giving them any money, Student Finance England is; second of all: Birmingham Metropolitan College isn’t getting said money, Birmingham City University is. Now they’re fighting over biscuits. Seriously. Deep fucking joy.

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